From the XXX Files, Office of the Senior Security Advisor, Morality Police.Classified. "Mini-Hef's origins are shrouded in mystery. Various theories attribute his rise to one of many potential factors -- errant protozoa fermenting in the spindrift of the Grotto, perhaps, or a poorly timed sneeze during sex, or even a vacuum pump explosion. However, there is no doubt that this shadowy figure served as the inspiration for the character Mini-Me in Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me. Fact: During the past few years, sightings of Mini-Hef have gone way up. (It is no coincidence that Viagra arrived on the scene at the same time.) His existence has been increasingly difficult to conceal. It's obvious he took on the role of a violent psychopath and masqueraded in public as one Verne Troyer, movie star, to throw off the scent. But it's clear he is the randy sensualist who has been wreaking havoc with the morals of America for more than four decades -- and we have the pictures to prove it." In effect, this portfolio is everything Playboy stands tall for.
